On Lines by Peter Meinke

"I thought you knew
you were beautiful and fair
your bright eyes and hair
but now I see that no one knows that
about himself, but must be told
and retold until it takes hold."

from (UNTITLED) by Peter Meinke
(in Liquid Paper: New and Selected Poems [U. Pittsburgh Press, 1991], p. 46.)

This reflection arose from a phone conversation with my brother-in-law about our respective sons, then about 10 or 11, approximately the age Meinke references in his comments about the poem. I recall how influential my parents’ words were to me, usually good, but not always.

These lines indicate how we often neglect building up our kids because we think they have their own resources. However, the striking idea is that "no one knows that about himself": they don't know what they have in them unless and until we tell them. Plus this poem reminds us how we must constantly build up since we do disproportionate damage to their "frail confidence" when we tear down. Beware lest we kill beauty.

We cannot give too many good words to our kids. We have to tell them they are "beautiful and fair."